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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Happy Fat Tuesday!

I made King Cake last night. It is by far the best recipe I have come across for it. I will post photos and the recipe later, mostly because it seems like a lot of work right now to upload the photos and post them. But I will not fail. Also, when I googled "Fat Tuesday" this is one of the first images I got. It is so fantastic. I might try to do this with my cats. Anyhoo......

I love New Orleans. I love Mardi Gras, I love Fat Tuesday. I get more excited about today than most other holidays. I am making jambalaya for dinner and we're eating left-over King Cake and sipping on cocktails tonight. If you have never been to New Orleans, GO. We went to New Orleans 3 weeks before Katrina hit for our honeymoon. When Katrina hit, the hubby and I were glued to the screen in tears. We had spent 2 weeks in New Orleans and made so many great friends that we still talk to. I remember frantically emailing/texting/calling to make sure they were all okay (they were.) I remember signing up for every possible volunteer program I could to go down there and help. It was a horrifying event, and New Orleans really is still recovering from it. We try to go every year, but we don't always make it. This year we are going again because we haven't been in two years and I cannot wait. I think we're going during Southern Decadence, because dear lord it is fantastic. If you don't know what Southern Decadence is, look it up. Hands down the best time we ever had in New Orleans.

So anyone that has never been to New Orleans, it is a fantastic, warm, loving city with a fantastic atmosphere. Oh, and good food. Really, really, really good food. And so for Lent you can go and help out the people of New Orleans by spending money and helping their city come back, instead of giving something up. Because Lent really should be more about giving things, than taking them away. And where better to do it than New Orleans? And today, all the images that the news is showing of Mardi Gras going on just makes me sigh and dream of New Orleans. And really crave crawfish. And beignets. Be bad today! And go to New Orleans!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Bulldog Salsa

I have this client. We will call her Pippi. As in Pippi Longstocking. Because she has red hair and freckles. She is the sweetest woman alive. But she is a crier. I am not good with criers, to say the least. Okay, I am horrible with criers. I don't really cry, and weirdly enough the only time I really cry is during sad movies. I cried like a baby at the end of Toy Story 3. What can I say? I am a plethora of contradictions. But anyway, Pippi cries pretty much every time I see her. And in all honesty, it drives me crazy. She knows this, because I tell her. I'm not a "huggy" family lawyer. My favorite quote is "I'm not a therapist, but I can send you to a good one." My personality is just not built to hold someone's hand and pat them on the back. I'm much more of a "screw him, he left you for his secretary so let's make him pay your bills and get outta here" kind of personality. And my clients like it, mostly because they know I'm honest with them about what is going to happen. I never, ever tell them it's going to turn out exactly how they want, in fact I always prepare them for the worst. Today though Pippi was hilarious and called me a "Bulldog." Luckily, she said it smiling and it was after I cleaned up the floor with an opposing attorney. (For any soon to be lawyers out there, it is a really REALLY bad idea to put something in a motion with no substantiating evidence behind your claim, especially if I have document in my hand that says the complete opposite. Judges do not like that.)

I like Bulldogs, they're cute dogs. All wrinkly and chubby and snorey. So I'm not sure her nickname was completely correct, but I'll take it as a compliment anyway. So here is my Bulldog Salsa. I got a food processor for Christmas from the hubby and I have been making up salsa like crazy. I have probably made 15 different versions. I made this last night, and it is, by far, my best yet. It actually tastes like authentic Mexican restaurant-style salsa. Enjoy!

  • 1 28 or 32 oz. can of whole peeled tomatoes, with juice
  • 2 tomatillos, outer shell removed and washed
  • 1/4 cup red onion
  • 2 large handfuls cilantro
  • 1/2 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon chili pepper
  • 2 chili peppers in adobo sauce (small can in the Mexican food aisle, this adds the heat)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper
  • Juice of 1/2 a lime
  1. Boil water in a small saucepan. When water boils, put the peeled tomatillos (tomatillos are weird little fruits that come with basically an onion-like cover around them that you need to remove) in the water. Boil for 5-6 minutes. Tomatillos should be tender.
  2. Pour entire can of whole tomatoes with juice in food processor (or blender). Add all the remaining ingredients.
  3. Process all until it is almost all liquid. It should not be very chunky, like so:
  4. When it gets to this consistency, you are good to go. Some people like it even liquidier (not sure if that's a word) so you can keep pulsing until you get your desired consistency.
  5. Taste the salsa, with a chip to get correct taste for it. Usually, if I add anything it's more cilantro or chilis in adobo. Be careful with salt since the chips are salty themselves.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Oscar meatballs

Oh my God the Oscars sucked. It was almost painful to watch. I'm going to start the 2012 Ricky Gervais petition right now. I love awards season, mostly because I like to see what everyone wears and all the crazy shit that happens. This year was such a bore. And I'm pretty sure James Franco was on something. Or he really just didn't give two shits. Either way, I hope the Oscars never does that again.

That being said, I made my cocktail meatballs for my little Oscar shin-dig, and as always they were a hit.  I've changed the recipe over the years, and I think I have perfected it. I think. I make this with my slow cooker so that it makes the whole house smelly yummy, and it makes them super tender but you can also just cook the meatballs in the sauce in a casserole dish in the oven for an hour and get a similar result.


  • 1 1/2 pounds ground beef

  • 1 egg, lightly beaten

  • 1 cup quick cooking oats

  • 1/3 cup evaporated milk

  • 1 teaspoon salt

  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper

  • 1-2 minced garlic cloves

  • 1 tablespoon chili powder

  • 1 small chopped onion 

  • 1 1/2 cup ketchup

  • 1/4 teaspoon minced garlic

  • 1/4 cup chili sauce

  • 1/3 cup brown sugar

  • 1 tablespoon liquid smoke flavoring

  • 2 tablespoons paprika

  • 1/2 cup scallions (optional, basically makes it prettier)

    1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, grease a large cookie sheet.
    2. In a bowl, mix beef, egg, oats, evaporated milk, salt, pepper, garlic, chili powder, and half of the onion. Form into  balls and drop onto baking sheet.
    3. Bake meatballs in the oven for about 5-10 minutes (you don't want them fully cooked, you just want them to get a nice brown crust on the outside)
    4. While those are cooking, mix ketchup, garlic, sugar, chili sauce, paprika and the rest of the onion, and liquid smoke. Pour into your slow cooker set to high.
    5. Turn slow cooker on and allow the sauce to heat up about 20 minutes.
    6. Take meatballs out and put them into the sauce with your slow cooker. Gently toss them around so they get covered in the sauce (I use a rubber spatula so they don't break apart)
    7. Put on low for 3 hours or high for 2 hours (depending on how fast you need them)
    8. Check them every half hour or so and stir them up. When the are done, throw in some chopped scallions and stir.
    These are so good, I swear. It will make even James Franco not seem so bad.

    Wednesday, February 23, 2011

    Cookies and custody battles

    So I practice family law. And let me just say that we see some really crazy shit when it comes to child custody disputes. Text messages and camera phones have made my job waaaaay more interesting. Most of the time, I think these people are all kinds of f-ing up their kids, and they could give a crap as long as they "stick it" to their ex. It's the sad reality of doing divorces. Even with clients that try to keep the peace and do things right, there's still so much drama. Then again, I was always the kid in school that all my friends told their problems to and talked to about everything. (I get it from my mother, people will tell her their entire life story within 5 minutes of meeting her). So really this job fascinates me every day. Even if it does make me sad for people sometimes.

    But oh the cookies. Specifically, Cheryl's Cookies.

    A tin of the sugar cookies with buttercream frosting was sent to my office and I am in heaven. Everything seems a little better with a heart shaped buttercream cookie. Have someone you need to send something to? Don't send flowers, send these. Or good lord, even these. I am telling you, whoever you send these to will love you forever. I'm about to cut my fees in half just for getting these. They're THAT good. Daresay it, my own aren't this good and I make damned good cookies.

    So if you need a moment of heavenly sugaryness, in a land of chaos and damned cold weather that will not go away, have a cookie.

    Tuesday, February 22, 2011

    Goddammit.

    It snowed again. And it's supposed to snow again this week. Now I am all kinds of pissed. I was even starting to eye up open toe heels. You see, at my old office I was not allowed to wear open toe heels. And this was really difficult for me because, hello, they are so cute. So I have been pretty damned excited about buying a plethora of open toe heels like the other ladies in my office. Sigh, I guess it's closed-toe heels and boots for a few weeks longer. I had court this morning and literally everyone I ran into was super crabby and blaming it on the weather and its apparent hatred for Chicago. The damned little woodchuck said spring was coming early!

    This also means I can't grill yet. But as soon as I can grill again, I'm making this:

    Dallas Burger

    I love Texas. I love the people, I love their food, I love their warm, warm weather. And I have been craving a grilled burger something fierce. So I'm making these as soon as I am weather-capable so I can start getting excited for warm weather and flip flops. And open toe heels.

    Tuesday, February 15, 2011

    Cooking block

    You've heard of writer's block? I am currently having cooking block. Ugh, it's so frustrating, especially when I'm trying to figure out what the hell to make for dinner. I am one of those annoying individuals who usually can walk into anyone's kitchen, look through their pantry and refrigerator, and whip up something delicious. Well, maybe not at some boy college dorm apartment, I'm not a magician. And despite having lots of essentials (and even non-essentials) and various ingredients in my kitchen, I am not coming up with anything new and exciting that I actually want to cook. Sigh. So if you've noticed that I haven't had many recipes up in the last few posts, that is why. I absolutely love to cook. But lately, I'm all, "eh, I don't feel like that." Part of it may be that there have been a lot of "events' at my place lately - SuperBowl, Golden Globes, Grammys and soon the Oscars - so I think I'm just burnt out on cooking. Which I never thought would happen.

    Then again, I've been working on spending less at the grocery store so that we can save up even more for our impending house purchase next year (with a real backyard! And deck! And master suite! And fireplace!) and since the houses I want require a little more $$, I'm trying to save on groceries. It also has the added benefit of making me slightly skinnier. So that's probably not helping. But even with cheaper things and less ingredients, I'm hoping to come up with wonderful, amazing foods.

    So all in all, I need to be re-inspired. Spring needs to come to Chicago. Yesterday it was 50-something, and I was driving around from courthouse to courthouse with my window down. I was irrationally happy all day just because of the warm weather. Maybe being able to cook outdoors and have spring and summer cocktails will re-invigorate my love of coming up with new, fresh dishes. Here's hoping.

    Friday, February 11, 2011

    President's Day clean-fest

    So, it's President's Day! Which, while I know is not generally a holiday that people celebrate, it is a day that I celebrate, because courts are closed. That's right! And although I did come into the office this morning to get some work done, I am leaving in 5 minutes (at 11:30) and I am wearing jeans and Uggs. And then I am going straight home. To clean.

    You should know that I have a bit of a homemaker-obsession issue. I'm not Martha Stewart, I can't make a centerpiece out of garden scraps or whatever (but I might try it) but I love to clean my house, wash the sheets (really what is better than getting into bed on warm, freshly-washed flannel sheets in the winter?), and cook and bake. I also am obsessed with sending Thank You cards, and buying the perfect gift for whatever occasion.

    So my house is a total mess right now. So I am going to go home and it's going to look like a show-home when I'm done with it. Floors will be scrubbed, drapes will be cleaned, kitchen will be spotless. And then I am going to bake banana bread so that my house smells like fresh-baked banana bread tonight. Because I don't want my house to smell like cleaner. And then I will spend a cozy evening in my just-cleaned home with a bottle of wine and Taco Bell.

    That's right, I'm classy.