Happy Fat Tuesday!

I made King Cake last night. It is by far the best recipe I have come across for it. I will post photos and the recipe later, mostly because it seems like a lot of work right now to upload the photos and post them. But I will not fail. Also, when I googled "Fat Tuesday" this is one of the first images I got. It is so fantastic. I might try to do this with my cats. Anyhoo......

I love New Orleans. I love Mardi Gras, I love Fat Tuesday. I get more excited about today than most other holidays. I am making jambalaya for dinner and we're eating left-over King Cake and sipping on cocktails tonight. If you have never been to New Orleans, GO. We went to New Orleans 3 weeks before Katrina hit for our honeymoon. When Katrina hit, the hubby and I were glued to the screen in tears. We had spent 2 weeks in New Orleans and made so many great friends that we still talk to. I remember frantically emailing/texting/calling to make sure they were all okay (they were.) I remember signing up for every possible volunteer program I could to go down there and help. It was a horrifying event, and New Orleans really is still recovering from it. We try to go every year, but we don't always make it. This year we are going again because we haven't been in two years and I cannot wait. I think we're going during Southern Decadence, because dear lord it is fantastic. If you don't know what Southern Decadence is, look it up. Hands down the best time we ever had in New Orleans.

So anyone that has never been to New Orleans, it is a fantastic, warm, loving city with a fantastic atmosphere. Oh, and good food. Really, really, really good food. And so for Lent you can go and help out the people of New Orleans by spending money and helping their city come back, instead of giving something up. Because Lent really should be more about giving things, than taking them away. And where better to do it than New Orleans? And today, all the images that the news is showing of Mardi Gras going on just makes me sigh and dream of New Orleans. And really crave crawfish. And beignets. Be bad today! And go to New Orleans!

Bulldog Salsa

I have this client. We will call her Pippi. As in Pippi Longstocking. Because she has red hair and freckles. She is the sweetest woman alive. But she is a crier. I am not good with criers, to say the least. Okay, I am horrible with criers. I don't really cry, and weirdly enough the only time I really cry is during sad movies. I cried like a baby at the end of Toy Story 3. What can I say? I am a plethora of contradictions. But anyway, Pippi cries pretty much every time I see her. And in all honesty, it drives me crazy. She knows this, because I tell her. I'm not a "huggy" family lawyer. My favorite quote is "I'm not a therapist, but I can send you to a good one." My personality is just not built to hold someone's hand and pat them on the back. I'm much more of a "screw him, he left you for his secretary so let's make him pay your bills and get outta here" kind of personality. And my clients like it, mostly because they know I'm honest with them about what is going to happen. I never, ever tell them it's going to turn out exactly how they want, in fact I always prepare them for the worst. Today though Pippi was hilarious and called me a "Bulldog." Luckily, she said it smiling and it was after I cleaned up the floor with an opposing attorney. (For any soon to be lawyers out there, it is a really REALLY bad idea to put something in a motion with no substantiating evidence behind your claim, especially if I have document in my hand that says the complete opposite. Judges do not like that.)

I like Bulldogs, they're cute dogs. All wrinkly and chubby and snorey. So I'm not sure her nickname was completely correct, but I'll take it as a compliment anyway. So here is my Bulldog Salsa. I got a food processor for Christmas from the hubby and I have been making up salsa like crazy. I have probably made 15 different versions. I made this last night, and it is, by far, my best yet. It actually tastes like authentic Mexican restaurant-style salsa. Enjoy!

• 1 28 or 32 oz. can of whole peeled tomatoes, with juice
• 2 tomatillos, outer shell removed and washed
• 1/4 cup red onion
• 2 large handfuls cilantro
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon chili pepper
• 2 chili peppers in adobo sauce (small can in the Mexican food aisle, this adds the heat)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon pepper
• Juice of 1/2 a lime

1. Boil water in a small saucepan. When water boils, put the peeled tomatillos (tomatillos are weird little fruits that come with basically an onion-like cover around them that you need to remove) in the water. Boil for 5-6 minutes. Tomatillos should be tender.
2. Pour entire can of whole tomatoes with juice in food processor (or blender). Add all the remaining ingredients.
3. Process all until it is almost all liquid. It should not be very chunky, like so:

4. When it gets to this consistency, you are good to go. Some people like it even liquidier (not sure if that's a word) so you can keep pulsing until you get your desired consistency.
5. Taste the salsa, with a chip to get correct taste for it. Usually, if I add anything it's more cilantro or chilis in adobo. Be careful with salt since the chips are salty themselves.

Oscar meatballs

Oh my God the Oscars sucked. It was almost painful to watch. I'm going to start the 2012 Ricky Gervais petition right now. I love awards season, mostly because I like to see what everyone wears and all the crazy shit that happens. This year was such a bore. And I'm pretty sure James Franco was on something. Or he really just didn't give two shits. Either way, I hope the Oscars never does that again.

That being said, I made my cocktail meatballs for my little Oscar shin-dig, and as always they were a hit.  I've changed the recipe over the years, and I think I have perfected it. I think. I make this with my slow cooker so that it makes the whole house smelly yummy, and it makes them super tender but you can also just cook the meatballs in the sauce in a casserole dish in the oven for an hour and get a similar result.

1 1/2 pounds ground beef

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 cup quick cooking oats

1/3 cup evaporated milk

1 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1-2 minced garlic cloves

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 small chopped onion 

1 1/2 cup ketchup

1/4 teaspoon minced garlic

1/4 cup chili sauce

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 tablespoon liquid smoke flavoring

2 tablespoons paprika

1/2 cup scallions (optional, basically makes it prettier)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, grease a large cookie sheet.
2. In a bowl, mix beef, egg, oats, evaporated milk, salt, pepper, garlic, chili powder, and half of the onion. Form into  balls and drop onto baking sheet.
3. Bake meatballs in the oven for about 5-10 minutes (you don't want them fully cooked, you just want them to get a nice brown crust on the outside)
4. While those are cooking, mix ketchup, garlic, sugar, chili sauce, paprika and the rest of the onion, and liquid smoke. Pour into your slow cooker set to high.
5. Turn slow cooker on and allow the sauce to heat up about 20 minutes.
6. Take meatballs out and put them into the sauce with your slow cooker. Gently toss them around so they get covered in the sauce (I use a rubber spatula so they don't break apart)
7. Put on low for 3 hours or high for 2 hours (depending on how fast you need them)
8. Check them every half hour or so and stir them up. When the are done, throw in some chopped scallions and stir.

These are so good, I swear. It will make even James Franco not seem so bad.