Bulldog Salsa

I have this client. We will call her Pippi. As in Pippi Longstocking. Because she has red hair and freckles. She is the sweetest woman alive. But she is a crier. I am not good with criers, to say the least. Okay, I am horrible with criers. I don't really cry, and weirdly enough the only time I really cry is during sad movies. I cried like a baby at the end of Toy Story 3. What can I say? I am a plethora of contradictions. But anyway, Pippi cries pretty much every time I see her. And in all honesty, it drives me crazy. She knows this, because I tell her. I'm not a "huggy" family lawyer. My favorite quote is "I'm not a therapist, but I can send you to a good one." My personality is just not built to hold someone's hand and pat them on the back. I'm much more of a "screw him, he left you for his secretary so let's make him pay your bills and get outta here" kind of personality. And my clients like it, mostly because they know I'm honest with them about what is going to happen. I never, ever tell them it's going to turn out exactly how they want, in fact I always prepare them for the worst. Today though Pippi was hilarious and called me a "Bulldog." Luckily, she said it smiling and it was after I cleaned up the floor with an opposing attorney. (For any soon to be lawyers out there, it is a really REALLY bad idea to put something in a motion with no substantiating evidence behind your claim, especially if I have document in my hand that says the complete opposite. Judges do not like that.)

I like Bulldogs, they're cute dogs. All wrinkly and chubby and snorey. So I'm not sure her nickname was completely correct, but I'll take it as a compliment anyway. So here is my Bulldog Salsa. I got a food processor for Christmas from the hubby and I have been making up salsa like crazy. I have probably made 15 different versions. I made this last night, and it is, by far, my best yet. It actually tastes like authentic Mexican restaurant-style salsa. Enjoy!

• 1 28 or 32 oz. can of whole peeled tomatoes, with juice
• 2 tomatillos, outer shell removed and washed
• 1/4 cup red onion
• 2 large handfuls cilantro
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon chili pepper
• 2 chili peppers in adobo sauce (small can in the Mexican food aisle, this adds the heat)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon pepper
• Juice of 1/2 a lime

1. Boil water in a small saucepan. When water boils, put the peeled tomatillos (tomatillos are weird little fruits that come with basically an onion-like cover around them that you need to remove) in the water. Boil for 5-6 minutes. Tomatillos should be tender.
2. Pour entire can of whole tomatoes with juice in food processor (or blender). Add all the remaining ingredients.
3. Process all until it is almost all liquid. It should not be very chunky, like so:

4. When it gets to this consistency, you are good to go. Some people like it even liquidier (not sure if that's a word) so you can keep pulsing until you get your desired consistency.
5. Taste the salsa, with a chip to get correct taste for it. Usually, if I add anything it's more cilantro or chilis in adobo. Be careful with salt since the chips are salty themselves.