Divorce Court. In my office.

I didn't have court today. So you would think that would mean that my day is therefore easier right? That's what I thought. I even sauntered in at 9:30. WRONG. So wrong.

Call #1: "I don't understand why he won't sign the marital settlement agreement. I am being totally fair!"
(ensue 20 minute conversation explaining I can't make someone agree to her settlement terms, especially when you're basically asking him to pay for everything)

Call #2: "So I found a divorce lawyer on Craigslist who will charge $300 to do the whole divorce. He says he's new. Can you do it for $300?" .......5 minutes later after explaining that filing almost costs that much: "Oh, I have 3 kids but I want sole custody."
(No. Don't call back)

Call #3: "I left you a message at 2am, did you get it?"
(Probably. Maybe. If it was the one about your dogs, I'll go with no)

That's not even all of them. I think I have spent more time on the phone today than doing actual work. I need one of these:

I'm going to spend the rest of my afternoon ignoring my phone and looking up this peartini cocktail recipe thankyouverymuch.

Junk Food Redux - Chili

So obviously I have not posted my Game Day recipes. There was a bit of a family emergency over here that lasted the last few days, so I didn't even really watch the game. Luckily, everyone is going to be fine, and it's all been resolved but it was a stressful few days. And therefore rather than cooking and hosting, I've basically spent my days eating junk food and whatever the easiest fast food place I could find. And now I feel totally gross.

So because my husband loves me, and knows I've been running around like a crazy woman and am too exhausted to cook, he made me his special chili. It's probably a standard chili recipe, but it's a recipe my husband makes all on his own and it is delicious. And we always have leftovers and use it for chili dogs, nachos etc. later in the week. And I love him for doing it. Here is his recipe!

• 2 pounds lean ground beef (or ground turkey is really good too)
• 1 large onion, diced
•  2 large bell pepper, minced (I like doing one red and one green)
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 2(15 ounce) cans kidney beans
• 2(15 ounce) cans dark red kidney beans
• 2 (28 ounce) cans diced tomatoes
• 1 can of tomato paste
• 3 jalapeno peppers, minced (optional, it's already hot without this, so you can keep it out)
• 3 tablespoons chili powder
•  1 tablespoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Cook beef, onion, and bell pepper in a large pot over medium heat until the beef is brown and onion and pepper are tender, about 10 minutes. Drain grease from beef. 
2. Stir in minced garlic and saute for about 1-2 minutes, just until fragrant, add tomato paste and mix paste in.
3. Stir in beans, tomatoes, jalapenos (if using), chili powder, paprika, red pepper flakes, black pepper, and salt. Bring mixture to a slow boil; cover and reduce heat. Simmer chili at least 30 minutes, stirring occasionally so that it does not stick. If you see that the chili is starting to get too thick, add water 1/4 cup at a time.
4. When chili reaches the consistency you want, TASTE IT. Add salt/pepper/chili powder until you get the flavor and heat you want.
5. Top with chopped onions, shredded cheese and enjoy!

Here's to a quieter weekend this week!

Bears vs. Packers - this is gonna get ugly

So I live in Chicago. Which means that pretty much everyone I know is a huge Bears fan. My husband, was born and raised in the heart of Wisconsin. Therefore, he is a huge Packer's fan.

Enter the biggest football showdown in the Midwest since 1941, and you have my life this coming Sunday.

One of our good friends is a Bears fan, so he and the hubby have agreed not to talk to each other on Sunday so they don't hate each other by 3pm. I think this is a good plan. And considering that tickets for this game are skyrocketing, and it's all you hear about on the radio and on TV right now, I've decided I'm going to go all out on the game time food. It makes me happy to plan and prepare, so here I go. Below is my menu, I will post my recipes and photos in the near future.

Barbecue Chicken Nachos

Spinach Artichoke Dip

Chile Cheese Dip (OMG, this is soooooo good)

Cream Cheese & Crab Wontons

Mini Neopolitan Pizzas

And just so we're all clear, I could really care less who wins. To be honest, I enjoy the yelling and cheering and hanging out with friends way more than any of the actual teams. And the drinking, I really like that part.

Panic time

So I really hate January. I'm a big fan of ringing in the new year and looking forward to what the new year will bring. Until I get my bills. Now I just need a drink.

It's important to point out here that I work for myself. Basically. I have my own practice, but I work in an office suite with two other attorneys. Starting up your own practice is really not that hard or expensive. However, keeping it going kind of is. And when January comes, is also when all my bills are due. My yearly bar association dues (which are usually around $100 a piece - if not more) are due in January and I'm a member of like 4 bar associations. Then there's my malpractice insurance dues for the year. Then there's the invoices for office supplies. And of course all the county court security passes. Ugh, I feel like I just spend day after day the last few weeks writing checks. And even though this only happens once a year, and the rest of the year I don't really have to worry about it, it still freaks me out to write such big checks all at once. Sigh. I am a big worrier. Probably why I should not have been a lawyer. I really just should have been a personal shopper. Or a baker. Or a bridal consultant. Or a newscaster.

As an aside, Ricky Gervais was amazing as the host of the Golden Globes. He was hilarious! And I am so not excited about Anne Hathaway and whathisface hosting the Oscars. Boooorriiing. And I love awards shows. Okay, back to paying bills................

Golden Globes Menu...

I love awards shows. I live for awards season. I plan menus and cocktails and host parties and everything. My friends think that I am completely nuts, but I just love doing it all. I live for hosting. And this year I have made it my goal to see every movie that is nominated for Best Film at the Oscars. And of course the Golden Globes, since it's the precursor to everything Oscar-related. But a lot of people are saying the Golden Globes included films they shouldn't have and excluded films that should be in there - Hello, "True Grit" not nominated?! That is an amazing film. And "The Traitor" with Angelina Jolie is? That movie got the worst reviews. So I'm not exactly seeing all the Golden Globes films (such as in the Best Comedy category, those rarely make the Oscars.) OMG, I sound like a lunatic.

I am always bummed when someone wins for a movie I haven't seen yet, I don't feel as invested. (I know, I'm crazy. But I accept and embrace it). I love having someone to root for, or at the very least say, "yeah he/she was really good in that." So far so good, but I have yet to see Black Swan and the King's Speech. I haven't seen Black Swan yet because mostly, I'm terrified. Everyone I know that has seen it has said it's fantastic but "disturbing." I'm not sure how I feel about that, as I don't do well with movies that have torture or rape or other upsetting things. But I know I'm just going to have to bite the bullet before this Sunday. And the King's Speech, according to my hubby, seems boring. But I've heard amazing things. So those are the last two on my list.I'm going to have to drag the hubby out this weekend I think. And also for grocery shopping........

The menu. I'm thinking my Poblano Quesadillas, Pioneer Woman's French Onion Soup Stuffed Mushrooms (I made these for Thanksgiving and got rave reviews), and Southwestern Egg Rolls. I'm also considering Fried Okra. I make it a lot because obviously, I love southern food and want to move to the South, and I love the looks on my friend's faces when they first see it and have never heard of it and then when they try it. I still have more to decide. I am obsessed with appetizers, they are my favorite food, so I love getting to plan parties where I make tons of different appetizers. I have to figure out more, but I think this is a good start. And I still have to figure out the cocktails. I will probably spend even more time obsessing over the perfect cocktails. And this is just for the Golden Globes! Thank God my office is closed on Monday. So much to do, so much to do....oh and running a law practice, I have to do that too.

Potty mouth

I swear like a damned sailor. Mostly, I blame this on growing up with two older brothers. And my dad. My dad claims that he does not swear. It's hard not to laugh out loud when he says this, but if I do he gets super mad at me. So I keep my mouth shut. However, in my office, it's really bad. I swear all the time. (Hey! I do divorces, it practically comes with the territory!) Luckily, my partner does too, but our secretary is very confused by it. The other day I said something along the lines of "this is such fucking bullshit!" I'm sure I was yelling about some maintenance motion or whatever, but I can't help it. Really.

I guess I'm making a disclaimer. In case anyone ever reads this blog, there will be swearing. I know it's unladylike and some people say disrespectful. In truth, I really can't stop. I tried once. I went an hour. Therefore, if it upsets you, I apologize in advance. However, I'm almost 30, it's not going to change now. Also, it's cathartic. I always feel better after I scream out a few swear words. So really, this works out for everyone.


Love,
Sweet Tea, Esq.

Divorce and Daiquiris

A friend of mine reads my blog, mostly to steal my recipes, but also to critique it. Lately she has been saying that I need to talk about my job more because it is "hilarious." Yes, some divorce clients have really let's say....unique life choices. Opening an envelope dropped off by your client containing porn photos (adult porn people, don't freak out) is definitely not something that happens in every line of work. However, being that I would like to keep my job and the entertainment it provides me, I think I'll just stick to random, innocuous statements about my job.


That being said, here is a great daiquiri recipe. Because when you divorce people for a living, cocktails are a must.

• 2 cups crushed ice, plus extra for chilling glass
• 2 ounces light rum
• 1-ounce freshly squeezed lime juice, strained of pulp
• 1/2-ounce Simple Syrup (equal parts sugar and water, boiled)

Place the 2 cups of crushed ice into a cocktail shaker. Pour the rum, lime juice, and simple syrup over the ice, cover, and shake well. Remove the ice from your serving glass and strain the drink into it. Ice your glass before you strain the cocktail into it, it makes it ice cold.

After a few of these, life is damned good. Even if you're going through a divorce.

Happy New Year, here's a cookie recipe!

When my sister was in college, and I was in law school, I would bake her huge batches of cookies and overnight them to her during her midterms and finals. I wasn’t kidding when I said that my mother never baked. The only reason my little sister got care packages at all was because of me and my love of baking. When I was in college, my dad would send me care packages. I think he felt bad that I didn’t get normal care packages like all the other students, but I loved my dad’s care packages. They were full of amazing things, like CD’s I wanted, jewelry, exotic candies and coffees from World Market. It was better than cookies!

But my sister, she and her friends went NUTS for these cookies, so I sent them to her whenever she was in dire need. They are so good. They are definitely more of a dark chocolate flavor, and please be sure to put a piece of fresh bread in with your cookies when you store them so that they stay nice and moist. They are a denser, cake-like cookie, so don’t freak out if they don’t spread much, they shouldn’t! I haven’t made these in forever, but it’s the recipe I have always used. This makes a crazy-ton of cookies, but it’s easy to half the recipe for a more manageable amount. And please note the dough needs to be refrigerated overnight so plan ahead!

Chocolate Crinkles

Yield: 6 to 8 dozen

2 cups chocolate chips

¾ cup of butter (1 ½ stick)

2 cups brown sugar

4 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

2 cups of flour (not sifted)

½ cup powdered sugar

Melt chocolate chips with butter in microwave for 45sec.-1 minute, remove and stir until chocolate chips are melted. (Chocolate retains its shape even when heated, so keep checking it and stirring it to check the consistency. Do not burn the chocolate! If you start to see the oil and chocolate separate, it’s burned so start over.)

Mix in sugar and allow to completely cool. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Mix in the vanilla, baking powder and salt. Add flour and mix well. Chill dough overnight.

When dough is ready, preheat oven to 350º. Roll dough into walnut-sized balls with your hands. (Put powdered sugar on your hands to ensure the dough will not stick to your hands) Drop the balls into a bowl of powdered sugar and roll around until completely coated. Place the balls on a greased cookie sheet. Do not flatten, they will flatten out a little in the oven. Bake for 12-14 minutes.

(Note: the dough tends to warm up while you’re working and then the cookies will flatten too much while baking, so in between sheets of cookies, be sure to put the dough back in the refrigerator to maintain the stiffer dough).

After removing cookies, allow to cool on sheet for 1-2 minutes and then place on wire rack. Store in airtight container. Cookies will have a “cracked” look to them.

Yummy…..enjoy!