Divorce Court. In my office.

I didn't have court today. So you would think that would mean that my day is therefore easier right? That's what I thought. I even sauntered in at 9:30. WRONG. So wrong.

Call #1: "I don't understand why he won't sign the marital settlement agreement. I am being totally fair!"
(ensue 20 minute conversation explaining I can't make someone agree to her settlement terms, especially when you're basically asking him to pay for everything)

Call #2: "So I found a divorce lawyer on Craigslist who will charge $300 to do the whole divorce. He says he's new. Can you do it for $300?" .......5 minutes later after explaining that filing almost costs that much: "Oh, I have 3 kids but I want sole custody."
(No. Don't call back)

Call #3: "I left you a message at 2am, did you get it?"
(Probably. Maybe. If it was the one about your dogs, I'll go with no)

That's not even all of them. I think I have spent more time on the phone today than doing actual work. I need one of these:

I'm going to spend the rest of my afternoon ignoring my phone and looking up this peartini cocktail recipe thankyouverymuch.